Humanity,

I shall get back to my quest on life, and the question of "what's worth living".

I bought a new CD, "Humanity" by Scorpions, and there is a track with the same title "Humanity", and it goes like:

You're a drop in the rain Just a number not a name
And you don't see it You don't believe it
At the end of the day You're a needle in the hay
You signed and sealed it And now you gotta deal with it

Another sad picture.

There are two views, one is looking at one's life at a finite contiguous (closed and bounded:) ) interval of time during which the person is living, and another is look at one's life as a point, and absolutely necessary, in the continuum of humanity.

There is no absolute answer to the two point of views, otherwise, there would have been one. So choosing your point of view, is merely a matter of comfort. However, it shouldn't be difficult for one to list the set of values each view brings to life, and to picture a life based on each.

And then what...

So meaningless are the activities, the numbers, events, places, and my being. I was crabbing the other day. It was rainy and somewhat chili. There were few other boats, throwing the rings, waiting for few minutes, and the pulling them back up. Looking at the crabs, identifying the gender, keeping the males, releasing the females, and then measuring their length.

And I did crabbing here once, in a motor boat, and I was thinking about all those who did crabbing before me in here, and will do it after me. We have nothing in common, except crabbing in here, and vanishing in the infinity of time.

what a sad picture.

Finally God!

Note: this posting is not about existence. It's about the relationship.

It's a bliss to have someone who gives you the assurance that "it wasn't your fault." Someone who takes the bag of bricks of feeling guilty, of what ifs, of should haves, and the pressure of daily life, and sets you free. There is nothing else to it, or at least I can't see it.

Sometimes, it is not enough to "know" that "it wasn't your fault", and that you have done all you could. There is a comfort in hearing it from others. More important, in stormy waters, one finds an incredible sense of calm and security when he can take the load of responsibilities from his shoulder and wash his hands from the consequences and refer everything to someone else.

And last, is having a powerful friend. Just the illusion of having such friend brings incredible peace of mind. When you have the feeling that "if i can't, he can", "he'll fix it for me", "he'll take care of everything".

The question is, even if one knows that the concept could be a self delusion, if it helps one to live happier and more peaceful, should one take it? More important, if one decides to take the path of self reliance, what mechanisms are needed to deal with the side effects of sufferings and hardships? How can one deal with issues surrounding immortal's life, using immortal's tools?

New life

I am beginning a new chapter in my life. My years of formal educations is over and I have time to think about some of the fundamental questions. In a series of 'postings' I am going to reflect my thoughts and my learnings towards the question of "what kind of life is worth living". This is an issue addressed by many including philosophers and religions. I am going to take a systematic look at the possibilities, and find guidelines that can help one to navigate true the plethora of ideas.

keep the child alive

In your childhood, not knowing the pain, not obeying rules, and not being bound to conventions, you follow what comes to your mind, you do what you feel like doing. It's all original, all yours.

As we grow up, we learn about society's conventions, the unspoken rules and learn/force to listen to the authority. Slowly, the child inside gets suppressed and we learn how to silence him and how to ignore him.

Somewhere between ages of 15 to 25 is the balancing point between the two forces, and I think, that is why those years are the most exciting year. You know the rules of the society, your analytical mind is developing and the child inside uses that to bend the rules, to express himself, to break the taboos, to explore beyond the boundaries, to experience. And the combination of the two brings creativity, enthusiasm, and fresh view to the world.

After that age, as we become more and more independent, we get scared, we feel the urgency of creating security and support for ourselves, and that makes us conservative. We tend to follow the known paths, and that makes us to bound ourselves to known frameworks. After a while, there is no sign of the child, the one who used to make our lives so exciting.

Feel alive again...

To my brothers in arms,

Following the last weeks meeting between Iran's president and students at Tehran Polytechnic and the follow up letter to the president by the student activists, brushed up with old memories. I felt proud and alive once again, the sense of continuity, that the dream is still alive, and that Poly's students are still carrying the torch.

Godspeed.

Love...

You only need to get the mood right.

After a tiring day, late at night, when you can not fall sleep, in the quiet of the night, when you can feel the lonliness, how there is only you, dim the light, a light and touching music, and you feel you are in love with the world, nothing specific. In love of being alive, in perfect harmony, fulfilled, and deeply content. I am deciding, I am deciding.